You and Me and the Devil Makes Three

Threesomes call us to confront jealousy, insecurity, fear of rejection, and a host of of other dark seeds inside ourselves. Three-ways can be huge growth experiences that encourage us to drop our insecurities and discover how wholly lovable we really are

Victoria Vantoch – The Threesome Handbook

The Group Sex topic was fun to research and learn way more than I thought was possible, at least with this topic. Group Sex is by far the most desired fantasy by people of all kinds. I started listening to “Tell Me What You Want” by Justin Lehmiller and it really took me on a journey of knowledge that I didn’t expect. 

A lot of you answered in the survey, and there will be more in the future. I think with this genre of topics, being anonymous really helped all of you be much more honest. So I want to go over what I discovered with the results of the survey.

  • The average number of partners for group sex was 4
  • The highest number of partners in one setting was reported to be 30
  • The structure that had the most positive experience was MFM
  • The structure that had the most negative experience was FMF
  • The favorite type of group sex was MFM or a scenario that involved more M than F

There are many things that came from this survey. So it’s time to go over the biggest points and take aways from the survey before we discuss group sex in a little more detail.

The positive experiences outweighed the negative by far. The most common mentions were Stimulation Overload, Fun, Mind Opening, Unlimited Pleasure (Giving and Receiving), and lengthier sessions compared to one on one sex. Let’s break these down a little more. 

Stimulation Overload

Stimulation overload in this context is a good thing. You have more touches on your body and you don’t know where the next may be. You may be kissing one person and the other starts to kiss your thigh. You may be giving oral sex to a lady and her partner enters you from behind. You could be getting a sensual back massage and the other partner begins to rub your legs, the possibilities are endless when there’s more people to explore. If you’ve never been brought to orgasm from receiving oral sex, while you give oral sex to someone else, you’re missing out. Don’t forget that you can also add a little kink touch to it and overload the senses. Although I will say, I think if you were to combine Stimulation Overload with Sensory Deprivation you might die from pleasure. 

Fun

This is the major reason that people have group sex, it’s just fun to do. I’ve found myself in a few scenarios that turned into group activities. Gentlemen, I highly suggest what they call a “Blowjob Sandwich”. I received one for my birthday a few years back and I think that should be the standard birthday gift for me forever. If you’re not in it to have fun or you’re not having fun even thinking about it, I wouldn’t suggest group sex of any kind. You learn so much about the people involved and also more about yourself and the things you enjoy. Fun should be the first reason you have group sex.

Mind Opening Experience

One of the participants in the survey, stated that it showed them that they were bi-curious. It was a MFM threesome and they learned that they like blowjobs from whomever is giving them out in the session. Another participant found her love for Double Penetration and now uses it in her standard sex session with her partner (they use toys to supplement if there’s not a third available). I feel what happens is we get in those situations and just relax our inhibitions to a degree that we don’t think about. Just keep your mind open and explore things based on how they feel to you rather than what you’ve been told to think about them.

Unlimited Pleasure

This goes hand in hand with Stimulation Overload. The possibilities are endless. You can give a blowjob and handjob at the same time. You can have your pussy licked while you finger your partner to an explosive orgasm. You can get your cock sucked while you make out with the guy you’re giving a handjob to. There are an infinite number of things that you can make happen. If you feel like you might experience a little premature ejaculation, you can switch up what you’re doing and let the next person slide in while you recover. I could go on and on, but I need your hands to keep scrolling and reading, not preoccupied with your fantasy I put in your head. You can masturbate later. Be creative then too, I won’t judge.

Longer Lasting

With more partners comes more time to recover and continue. You can jump out of the pile, grab some water, and jump right back in. It’s a team sport and should be treated as such. Take your time and learn about yourself. That one thing he just did for you? Have him teach the other person how it’s done. Slowly. You should be learning more about what you like every time you do anything sexual. Take breaks, Tag Out, Jump In. There’s no need to make this a quick affair.

Those are just the most common positive things that stood out as reasons to enjoy group sex.

With the good, comes the bad. There are negative aspects to group sex. Most of these could be solved with communication. 

The most common negative aspects were:

Risk

STI’s are a real thing. They aren’t all as scary as that post in your health class said, but they can suck. If you have an STI, it is your duty and responsibility to tell any and all partners involved with sex in your life. This is universal, not just for group sex. If you haven’t had an STI test, please go get one. There are free ones available just do a little google search. You also have the risk of pregnancy. I suggest birth control, condoms, and pulling out. Trifecta if you use them all together. There are risks beyond sexual health risks though, those are down below.

Hygiene 

Please keep yourself clean, especially if you’re going to have sex with anyone. Take a shower before you go to the club or to the place where all the activities are taking place. Clip your fingernails and file the rough edges off. No one likes a scratch inside their vagina. There are tons of ways to make yourself a cleaner person and it is much appreciated especially in a sexual role. This isn’t universal to everyone but gentlemen, please keep the ball-fro trimmed and the boys shaved. Also take a little extra time to get your buttcrack and asshole clean. You never know what someone may open your mind to in the middle of sex. It’s just courtesy and good for your reputation. 

Uncoordinated

Real life isn’t porn. Shit happens. You may touch someone you didn’t mean to or they may touch you by accident, it happens. People fall off the beds and couches. Bodies make noises. There are almost as many ways for group sex to go wrong as it can go right. Just enjoy the experience and go with the flow.

Jealousy

If you have any doubt about how you may feel about someone touching your partner, DO NOT HAVE GROUP SEX. Jealousy can kill a fun night and ruin relationships. You must be honest about your wants, needs, and expectations. I suggest starting with toys in the bedroom if you have reservations about how you may feel. If you’re insecure or jealous of a toy, you will melt down if you see your partner cumming while she rides someone that may or may not be a bit bigger than you. 

Selfishness

Some people have used threesomes to justify fucking another person they’ve desired for a while, or the couple that is together may neglect the third that was invited over. Everyone gets a turn and life is good. Don’t be selfish. 

Attraction

You may not always be attracted to the person involved, you should express that to your partner and go from there. If you can power through the lack of attraction and you want to help your partner have a great night, focus on your partner. I think you should avoid the situation completely though if it’s an issue you feel you need to address.

Clean Up

More Bodies = More Mess. That’s simple. 

So as you can see most of the negative aspects can be solved with a little communication. Communicate your desires, wants, needs, likes, and dislikes with your partner(s) before you even begin.

Those are just some basics about group sex and the positive/negative aspects of it. I was going to break down the different types of group sex but that’s an infinite list. 3+ people is all it takes. Figure out what structure you like and talk to your partner about making it happen.

If I can express a few important things about group sex and make them stick with you its this:

-Communicate

-Be aware of your feelings before you get in too far

-Don’t have expectations.

I posted a question in several different places the other day about Sex Ed and what you would want to see included. It was inspiring, I am drawing up the outline of a Sex Ed book and class. It will take some time and research but I would love to have it published and in your hands by next summer. If I can do it sooner, that would be better.

Don’t forget to join the NEW subreddit

You can go masturbate to your fantasy group session now. 

Until Next Time

Peace Out sub Scouts

Love, Jett

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