People have been debating Kink and Pride Communities being together for some time. There has also been much discussion and debate about exactly how much the Kink and LGBT communities intertwine. I personally think that they are almost one in the same. When it comes to the argument, I can take the approach of seeing both sides of the line. Comment your opinions on the subject at the end. Let’s kick it off with the reasons the Kink Community DOES belong at Pride Events and then we can cover the reasons kink DOESN’T belong at Pride Events:
1 – Both Kink and Pride Communities are extremely accepting and inclusive
Both communities are very familiar with being outcasted and looked down on for being themselves. When it comes to the LGBT community, I could go on and on about the oppression that the community has and still faces to this day. There is still such a stigma and negative view of LGBT media, couples, and events. The LGBT community has had it much worse for sure, but, it’s not about who had it worse. It’s about the struggle for acceptance that both communities have sought for centuries.
The Kink Community has been more accepted by the general population with adaptations (although, not many of them are very good) through various media outlets. The first thing that comes to mind for most people when you mention the word kink or kinky, “Oh, like 50 Shades?” It gets so tiring to hear that as an example, but I will give it the credit it deserves. It may not be a good example of Kink, but it did open the world’s eyes to the community. Many in the community have taken the newcomers under their wing and shown them the proper ways to dive into the world of kink.
Which brings me to the point, the LGBT community always welcomes others just trying to find their identity and who they are in the world, but in a place where it’s alright and accepted to be curious and find your true self. The same can be said about the Kink Community. The Kink Community has shown to be one of the most welcoming communities I’ve found. No matter if it’s online, in a meetup (Munch), or in a dungeon. The core principles of the Kink Community are all about Consent, Communication, and Exploration.
I’ve found a majority of the members of the both Communities are always happy to educate and look out for people that could be prayed upon by the few bad seeds that have crept into either. The love and acceptance I have found in both communities has made me see how much they truly go hand in hand.
“Sexuality is fluid. Whether you’re gay or you’re straight or you’re bisexual, you just go with the flow.”shane McCutcheon, The L Word
2 – Strong values in self discovery and community discovery
From the first time I heard anyone mention being tied up in the bedroom, I was put on a journey of discovery. IT took some really rough moments and not very much to go on besides porn back in the 2000’s, at least for me. If I would have had places in public places to learn a bit about kink, not necessarily all of the aspects, but, basic education and resources that I could follow along with and really understand who I was. Kink isn’t a normalized thing in even today’s world. That’s why I think places like Pride events are the perfect place to get that education. Oftentimes, Pride events are still looked at with a side glance, less recently but it still is met with resistance and acceptance.
The Pride events I’ve been to have shown me that people of all ages can come to learn and really establish a place to be themselves. I continue to see that younger generations, and the parents that raise them, are embracing the fact that they are different in more than one way. The events need that place to feel safe and get a better understanding of who they are.
The part that makes me so happy is that there is such a loving and accepting place for everyone. I’ve seen resources for trans teens to get educated and places for people of all kinds to get an STD test. The resources are unlimited and I think if there were a place in the festivals to get legitimate resources, then these teens and younger people wouldn’t need to get education from porn or a fiction book.
Every person felt like they didn’t belong, or at some point felt like they didn’t need to carry on, they weren’t needed. So I think it’s important to show each other, “Look, we’re all in this together, we all feel this way, let’s work together.”Cole Ledford
3 – The majority of society has zero understanding and stigmas around both.
When it comes to Pride Events, it’s a collection of some of the most stigmatized and demonized people in the world. Correction, America. The world (for the most part) has learned that being gay doesn’t make you some devil or evil person. Kink doesn’t have that specific stigma, kinky people just get called weird or they hear “I couldn’t do that”
People still look at both with such a negative view that it really doesn’t matter how positive we show it to the world, the old minds will never accept these groups into it. The newer generation is saving the future and it’s showing that people are just people, no matter who they love or what they do behind closed doors.
All I hear about Kink is it’s about beating people or hurting them, Kink has such a bond beyond what most “vanilla” relationships will never experience. Sometimes in a scene people will literally put their lives in someone else’s hand, some vanilla relationships can’t even trust their partner to go shopping or to the bar alone.
4 – If the communities were a Venn diagram, it would practically be a circle
When we hit the pride events for the fun spanks and all of the wonderful activities we do at pride events, there never seems to be a dull moment between spanking people and educational moments with the other people at the fest. THe amount of people walking around with a pup play mask, a collar, I’ve even seen a few leashes on people. The Kink Community is already at these events more so than we realize.
Over time, Pride Events may have started as an LGBT event, but as we have progressed, it has come to be a place of acceptance and appreciation for all walks of life and I have never seen anyone be shunned for how they are dressed or what they are doing. The exception I guess would be those crazy church groups that think their protests are going to change someone from being who they are to being someone they never want to be.
NEWS FLASH: Being homosexual isn’t why someone will go to hell just like being heterosexual isn’t a reason people will get into heaven (if you believe in that sort of thing)
The more subtle reasons that people tend to belong in both communities? Something as simple as apparel. Leather has been closely associated with the Gay community since the 1950’s and possibly earlier but there is not direct indication that it started before the 1950’s in Europe.
Slang is another subtle thing that ties the communities. Daddy has a similar but different meaning in both communities. Kink has Daddy as in a caregiver form. The Gay community uses the term Daddy to refer to an older gentleman that prefers younger men. There are more but we still have many reasons to go. So let’s continue
5 – Both are being educated accepted and studied more now than ever before
For 20+ years, homosexuality was defined as a mental illness by the APA. Even today the DSM-5 still classifies some kinks as a mental disorder. Fetishes are all generalized under the Fetishistic Disorder. Masochists are under the sexual masochism disorder tag. There are so many more that are included, but truthfully that kind of information should best come from a licensed therapist or doctor.
The main point is that these events offer resources and gain education through the research conducted. There is a quick survey that you can do to help push this article to the next level. I would be forever grateful if you give your opinion.
The world continues to demonize the Trans community by saying on one side of the political spectrum, it’s a mental disorder. That same side bullies and treats Trans people as less than human. If you do that let me be the first to throw you a middle finger but also welcome you a chance to educate yourself.
It is really a bad image to sit and judge people for the things they do in their own lives, and the way I see it, if they’re going to be judged in private, they might as well celebrate themselves in the public
“If you help elect more gay people, that gives a green light to all who feel disenfranchised a green light to move forward.” Harvey Milk
6 – Pride participants love spankings
107 butts. 107 consenting and happy butts. That’s how many spankings we gave out at Blue Ridge Pride. That’s a lot of butts for anyone to spank. That’s also 107 people that now have solid resources (like the ones featured on this page. Not only was it 107 spankings, there were friends and people with them. There were people stopping to view the fun. Each of those have a moment they won’t forget and a moment that they will tell others about. The word of mouth of the events and fun mean that more people will be talking about this and sharing what they went through. It means that other people may come with them next time to have fun too.
They do love spankings but they love being accepted even more.
7 – Both are core identities in private life
If you’ve read any of my recent articles, you can see that we discussed the art of Ethical Public Play. While these events are very public, they are also very essential to our core values and who we are.
If you’re Bisexual, you’re having sexual relations with 2 sexes. If you’re a Dom, you’re a Dom. If you’re Trans, you’re trans. The world doesn’t always have to know that and that’s why some people are afraid to Come Out. The world doesn’t always accept it either.
You ordering for your submissive and only letting them address you can be a part of the 24/7 dynamic, but to the server it just seems like you’re a controlling asshole. If you’re out with your boyfriend and you’re having a drink on date night, the bartender usually thinks you’re just two buddies out having a drink.
You know the real truth and that is absolutely all that matters. What happens behind closed doors and the love you have for yourself and your partner will always overpower the hate a bigotry the world can sometimes show.
Let me throw a kink in the wheel (no pun intended), what if you only hook up with your same sex once in a while? Or you only have a dynamic in the bedroom? Then you’re still just as valid in the respective communities. You have a place there. No one has to know why you feel at home at these events, the only person that matters is you when it comes to that knowledge. At these events, you’ll find families there just to support the teenager that’s curious or not sure if they are lesbbian or bisexual. You’ll see siblings supporting each other. You’ll see friends binding because one of them just came out as gay or trans.
The communities can and do lean on each other in many more ways than I could begin to list.
I was going to add a few reasons why they don’t belong together, but, fuck it. I can’t think of a valid reason they don’t. If you have a few reasons and want to write the rebuttal for me, please send me an email at: Mister@Kinkslayer.com
I can’t wait for pride this weekend in Columbia SC. Don’t forget that survey and don’t forget to follow all the other social media links.
You also have a chance to join the Kinkslayer Patreon for just $1 a month. There are no rewards or tiers yet, that just helps the brand grow and spread awareness and continue to run and get out there.
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