New here? Good. Pull up a chair.
First, the only rule
This place exists because I got tired of watching beginners get talked down to for asking basic questions, and couples get branded “unicorn hunters” and treated like predators just for saying out loud, honestly, what they were looking for. Asking a clumsy question doesn’t make you a villain. Not knowing the words yet doesn’t make you dangerous. So the rule here is simple: nobody gets shamed for asking. Not on my watch.
What this place is
Kinkslayer is sex ed with a smirk. Sex, kink, polyamory, relationships of every style and orientation, and the personal growth nobody warns you about, all talked about plain and out loud. The writing comes first here, it always has. It’s honest, it’s funny when it can be, and it never talks down to you. Don’t worry, it’s only kinky the first time.
The person we’re aiming at
Nobody here is finished, least of all me. But there’s a direction, and it starts inward, with the person in the mirror, before it ever gets to a partner.
Somebody who uses their words. If you want something, you open your mouth and ask for it, because hinting is just hoping with extra steps. Somebody who pays attention on purpose, phone down, actually looking at their person. Somebody who apologizes like a grown-up, owns their part out loud, and fixes the thing instead of dodging it. Somebody who wants a real yes, an enthusiastic one, and takes a no like an adult when that’s the answer. Somebody who keeps growing on purpose, because you either keep becoming somebody worth loving or you stay the same and call it their problem.
Humans do not have a finite amount of love to give. Time and energy are finite, and so is the calendar, so spend all three like they matter.
That’s the aim. You’ll miss some days. Aim anyway.
Pick your door
- Brand new to kink, polyamory, or any of this? Start with the K.I.S.S. shelf on the Articles page. Short 101s in plain language, nothing important skipped. Polyamory 101 is first up.
- Here about a relationship? Read the essentials: “You’re Not Trying to Be Creepy. Congratulations. You Might Still Be.“, “Nobody Is Reading Your Mind“, “Men Don’t Have Friends. They Have Group Chats.“, and “Jealousy Fucking Sucks.“
- Got a question you’d never say out loud? Ask Mister. It’s anonymous, no email, no name. And if something’s sitting on your chest, the Anonymous Confessions form is right there too.
- Want the room, not just the reading? The Facebook Page is where the community actually lives. Photo threads all week, arguments on Saturdays, real people.
- Want it in your inbox instead? The Kinkslayer Letter, one a week, free. Subscribe and it shows up.
That’s the whole onboarding. Class is in session, and nobody gets shamed for raising their hand.